dressari (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dressari) wrote,@ 2006-03-30 11:21:00 |
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Yay for coming home... [/sarcasm]
So I came home, at last. 28 days in the states will be something to remember indeed.
Both the good times... and learning from the bad.
Even while I was walking through the airport I had this distinct feeling of depression and sadness over me, was it because I was going to miss the states, was it because I was back home and I didn't want to be...
No, it was because I had the heavy feeling of coming home knowing that I went out there and made one particular woman I loved so much very happy only to return having wrecked her heart and feelings with out any intention. First some differential views of the internet and then an honest mistake in someones LiveJournal both of us misunderstood. I didn't feel so good to step back into the UK knowing what had happened. But it is my intention to make things right again if I am allowed to, I'm just waiting to be given that chance and this time I will not screw it up do you know why? Because through the many friends I have I've rearlised what my major weakness are, what my flaws were and what I can do to cope with them and change them for the better, not just for myself but for my future friends and espeically my major love interest, assuming I still have that chance of course but for now I rearlise there are other things more important like repairing a damaged friendship with that same person.
slavkei's LJ has some zen thinking on it which holds some very useful advice if you haven't already read some of the sentences from it, go do so, it's got me thinking and might just get you to do the same as well.
I've had other mixed feelings about stepping into the UK as well, I think it's just some slight withdrawal from the states and having been on vacation for a month and now I gotter go back to work of course, which I am very eager to do, especially when you have nearly £10000 / $18000 worth of debt to your name.
I'm also going to be sitting down and watching some more TV, films and listening to some more music as well as read some books. Can everyone do me a favor and post me your suggestions on what to watch / read / listen to I've already started on one friends book from the states but I know I'll need more after that.
Lastly I finally got my pirate script finished, it took a couple of months but it's finally finished. Please catch me on AIM to get a copy I could use the opinions and such and many of my friends from the Jack forums will hopefully enjoy the surprises I've added in just for spice ;)
So I came home, at last. 28 days in the states will be something to remember indeed.
Both the good times... and learning from the bad.
Even while I was walking through the airport I had this distinct feeling of depression and sadness over me, was it because I was going to miss the states, was it because I was back home and I didn't want to be...
No, it was because I had the heavy feeling of coming home knowing that I went out there and made one particular woman I loved so much very happy only to return having wrecked her heart and feelings with out any intention. First some differential views of the internet and then an honest mistake in someones LiveJournal both of us misunderstood. I didn't feel so good to step back into the UK knowing what had happened. But it is my intention to make things right again if I am allowed to, I'm just waiting to be given that chance and this time I will not screw it up do you know why? Because through the many friends I have I've rearlised what my major weakness are, what my flaws were and what I can do to cope with them and change them for the better, not just for myself but for my future friends and espeically my major love interest, assuming I still have that chance of course but for now I rearlise there are other things more important like repairing a damaged friendship with that same person.
slavkei's LJ has some zen thinking on it which holds some very useful advice if you haven't already read some of the sentences from it, go do so, it's got me thinking and might just get you to do the same as well.I've had other mixed feelings about stepping into the UK as well, I think it's just some slight withdrawal from the states and having been on vacation for a month and now I gotter go back to work of course, which I am very eager to do, especially when you have nearly £10000 / $18000 worth of debt to your name.
I'm also going to be sitting down and watching some more TV, films and listening to some more music as well as read some books. Can everyone do me a favor and post me your suggestions on what to watch / read / listen to I've already started on one friends book from the states but I know I'll need more after that.
Lastly I finally got my pirate script finished, it took a couple of months but it's finally finished. Please catch me on AIM to get a copy I could use the opinions and such and many of my friends from the Jack forums will hopefully enjoy the surprises I've added in just for spice ;)
